The GREASTEST mistake tat I made in my pathetic life..

All of a sudden, I seriousli felt like crying as if it's e end of the world..
Tears are flooding in my eye balls.. I missed my dearest mother.. I missed her so badly tat how I wish I can join her now..
Mummy, I missed u..
Mummy, I wan u..
Mummy, Pls save me..
Mummy, I m sorie.. reali reali reali sorie..

Every1 tinks tat I haf e most perfect n blissed life.. I used to tink so too.. Maybe not the most, at least the 2nd most blessed person on earth..

I haf almost everytin..

Both others n me used to tink tat I haf everytin 1 can wish n desire for.. Indeed, it is true to some extent.. I haf :

1. A convertible car
2. A Van
3. A bf
4. 3places to live in..
5. Family.. A dad, 2 younger sisters, 1 younger brother..
6. 3 dogs
7. Fishes
8. Squirrel..

But no 1 truly noe wat i wan..

Having a car is not getting me out of the house..
Having a van is not helpin either..
Having a bf is like havin no bf..
Having 3 places to live is e same as living in e streets.. No place is truly mine.. Anitime i can be booted out like trash..
Having a family.. Haiz.. I used to haf e most perfect family on earth.. Where my mother is e heart of the whole family.. E day she's gone, is e day my misery started.. No 1 truly cares.. every1 is living for themselves..
Having 3 dogs is like making them suffer e same fate as me.. They may look glamourous from outside, but deep inside, all dey wan is juz company.. juz true love.. Juz some time..
Having squirrels r making them suffer wif me as well..

Let's tok abt my mistake..
To err is human.. But I erred seriously n fatally..

Years back.. I chose to give up my family, esp my beloved mother for my bf..
I chose to leave the house n cohabit wif him..
a big mistake..
a FATAL mistake..

Too late.. I realised it too late.. I onli reslise tat it was all a BIG mistake 6yrs after I m wif him wen my patience ran out slowly n wen my suffering mother is no longer here to support me animore..
How I hate myself..
I seriously hate myself.. To e max!!

I gave up my family, esp my mum for a guy tat disappoints me almost EVERYDAY!!
He expects me to kip him accompany wen he is bored.. den wen he is full of frenz n activities.. I m conveniently forgotten..
I waited for him like a silly bitch almost everyday at his house alone.. While he drives e car which he tels e whole world it is a present for me out to nite clubs, casino, pubs, disco etc..
n where m i?! Almone.. at home.. like a silly bitch..
He will usuali be hm in the morning..
Sometimes, I rather he dun come back.. cos wen he comes back, he reeks of alcohol.. wat pains me.. He reeks of perfume.. female perfume..
So wat does tis mean?!
It means tat my world has collapse again..
My heart deeply wounded again..

Mummy, can i join u?! I m suffering here..